Dare I try again?

People are starting to ask, are you going to try again?  I have no choice I have to try again.   I can not lose Benjamin and my dream of being a Mother in the same year.  I cry thru the sonograms because I want to see Benny in the picture.  I don't get it, it seems so easy for others.  I had 2 miscarriages before Benjamin.  I had the nickname Bean for the 2nd miscarriage.  I hope Bean and Benny watch over me and approve of us trying again.  I had 2 follicles today and have to go back tomorrow for another ultrasound.  I think TTC while grieving is heartbreaking but I can think of nothing else that might help me become somewhat of myself again.